Surrender

Lauren Fonvielle, Writer & Lightworker

Surrender is not a sign of defeat. Instead, it’s the beauty of recognizing your inner power.

At YTT (yoga teacher training) this weekend, I experienced some pretty major internal shifts and I’d like to share them here with all of you.

As I’ve mentioned before, yoga isn’t about moving your body into crazy twisty positions. It’s about linking the mind with the body, and using the breath to create mindful awareness. It’s about being present, and letting go of what doesn’t serve you. It’s about finding inner peace and balance. It’s how I can stay calm amidst the crazy storms of life.

So often we run from our feelings.  I know I’m guilty of it for sure.  Who likes sitting in their anger, sadness, or overwhelm?  It isn’t fun. It doesn’t feel good, so we run. We turn to medication, food, alcohol, feverishly working, excessively exercising… anything that will free our minds and let us escape. But the reprieve is only short lived, and we soon return to those intense feelings.  And again we run. It’s a vicious cycle.

But what if you didn’t run? What if you surrendered instead?

In class, we talk a lot about surrendering into a pose. I’ll be honest, I’ve found this extremely difficult – especially in hip opening poses. They hurt.  I squirm. I get angry. I tell myself I simply can’t hold it anymore. That negative voice steps up: Who do you think you are? This isn’t for you! You can’t do this.  I feel like my body is screaming at me to throw in the towel.

In reality, that’s just my ego talking.  But, these days, I’m showing her who’s boss.  Surrendering isn’t about quitting. For me, surrendering is about putting an end to my judgement. Whether I’m judging the pose itself, how I feel in that pose, my frustration holding the pose, or anything else that I’m carrying with me that day – it’s about simply letting all of that float away.  When I can manage to release all of that junk, I find my self in a state of ease – a place of comfort – a place I want to return to, time and time again.

I made a concerted effort to let go this weekend. And you know what happened? I found myself going deeper into poses, and even attempting and succeeding at poses I’d never tried before. And the reason I hadn’t tried before, was simply because of underlying fear that I’d get hurt, and that I wasn’t built to move my body in that way.  It was yet another ah-ha moment. Good-bye limiting beliefs.

We also did some emotional exercises that enabled me to shed some much needed tears. When I walked out those doors on Sunday afternoon I felt so much lighter than I had walking in on Saturday morning – all because I let go.

This week, I plan to continue to let go, and not just when I’m on my mat.  Instead of running, I’m going to sit in my feelings, journal them, maybe even write them on here, get them out and let them go.

What can you let go of today?